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Sunday, September 30, 2007
bravery/stupidity
So I remember when Oprah, now you know how I feel about Oprah, defined bravery. Bravery is not being fearless. On the contrary, bravery is doing something in spite of your fear. Therefore, in order to be brave, one first must be afraid. Today was FULL of "brave" moments.
My roomate invited me to hike the Gorges du Verdon with her and her friends. This is known as the "Grand Canyon of France." All she told me about it was that you shouldn't have a fear of heights. There was no rock climbing apparently, but there were "escaliers" that one had to climb. They later started using the word "ladder" to describe this. I had horrible nightmares the night before of some ladder going down a steep cliff. Eeep!
Driving to our hostel, I saw the beautiful but VERY intimidating canyon, with the Verdon river swimming threw about 1500 meters below us. The hike was not challenging in that I am super exhausted/tired right now. Psychologically though, it was scary and very very challenging.
We started off this morning on the path, which immediately plummets into the canyon. Not plummet, perhaps, but it is a very steep descent. And it's SO rocky! Like these evil slippery flat rocks as well as loose ones. Ahh, too many tibia memories to describe. So I was really really nervous...what the heck am I getting myself into! About 1/2 an hour later we had finished with that passage. But then whenever you descend, you will have to monte (go up) encore! So then we started climbing up the path...again, it's all rocks, very steep. HOOF I was dripping with sweat. Then we get to this ALL rock, slanted, steep drop off to a cliff part. Everyone else calmly walked across the slipery flat rock, while I was completely freaked out. But still managed my way across. At some points, we had to just hold on the cable attached to the rocks and make our way around the cliffs, going down totally loose rocks (what killed my tibia) or all flat slanted rock. Eeep!
Then there was the "ladder." In fact it was a stair case, but basically ya, it's straight down. After having survived everything else, this ladder I had been dreading turned out to be okay. We ate lunch on by the river and then started going back up again. We went through some caves to come out through the other side to a beautiful view! The canyon is breathtaking...but so are the cliffs that are about 6 inches from where you're walking. :-(
We finally got to the top where I thought the car was parked, only to see that we still had to hike another 30 STEEP minutes to get to it. At this point I asked my American friends how difficult the hike is. "Oh it's very difficult," said the woman. (They are from Oregon and have done a lot of hiking.) Normally, on a U.S. trail you wouldn't have all that exposed area without rails..etc. She said she had been thinking about me all day, wondering how the midwesterner had made out.
I kept telling my hiking buddies, "Illinois is FLAT" haha. I made out okay....but really I think by luck. On the one hand, I am thrilled to have completed this 6 hour hike...on the other hand, I would NEVER for any amount of money do it again. I just don't understand how more people don't die from hiking? All I could think was, if you fell right now, you would just fall off the cliff and die. End of story. Or if you really hurt yourself, no one would be able to get to you for hours.
Soooo I don't know how far my hiking career will go. At best, the hike is "medium difficulty" at worst it is classified under "very difficult" hikes in this region. I think I will stick to the easy ones from now on.
But I can honestly say I was brave today. Though had anything happened, I would have been labeled differently no doubt.
The drive back home (2 hours) was amazing. A sunset, very cute towns, classical music playing. Again you wonder, "How did I get here?"
My roomate invited me to hike the Gorges du Verdon with her and her friends. This is known as the "Grand Canyon of France." All she told me about it was that you shouldn't have a fear of heights. There was no rock climbing apparently, but there were "escaliers" that one had to climb. They later started using the word "ladder" to describe this. I had horrible nightmares the night before of some ladder going down a steep cliff. Eeep!
Driving to our hostel, I saw the beautiful but VERY intimidating canyon, with the Verdon river swimming threw about 1500 meters below us. The hike was not challenging in that I am super exhausted/tired right now. Psychologically though, it was scary and very very challenging.
We started off this morning on the path, which immediately plummets into the canyon. Not plummet, perhaps, but it is a very steep descent. And it's SO rocky! Like these evil slippery flat rocks as well as loose ones. Ahh, too many tibia memories to describe. So I was really really nervous...what the heck am I getting myself into! About 1/2 an hour later we had finished with that passage. But then whenever you descend, you will have to monte (go up) encore! So then we started climbing up the path...again, it's all rocks, very steep. HOOF I was dripping with sweat. Then we get to this ALL rock, slanted, steep drop off to a cliff part. Everyone else calmly walked across the slipery flat rock, while I was completely freaked out. But still managed my way across. At some points, we had to just hold on the cable attached to the rocks and make our way around the cliffs, going down totally loose rocks (what killed my tibia) or all flat slanted rock. Eeep!
Then there was the "ladder." In fact it was a stair case, but basically ya, it's straight down. After having survived everything else, this ladder I had been dreading turned out to be okay. We ate lunch on by the river and then started going back up again. We went through some caves to come out through the other side to a beautiful view! The canyon is breathtaking...but so are the cliffs that are about 6 inches from where you're walking. :-(
We finally got to the top where I thought the car was parked, only to see that we still had to hike another 30 STEEP minutes to get to it. At this point I asked my American friends how difficult the hike is. "Oh it's very difficult," said the woman. (They are from Oregon and have done a lot of hiking.) Normally, on a U.S. trail you wouldn't have all that exposed area without rails..etc. She said she had been thinking about me all day, wondering how the midwesterner had made out.
I kept telling my hiking buddies, "Illinois is FLAT" haha. I made out okay....but really I think by luck. On the one hand, I am thrilled to have completed this 6 hour hike...on the other hand, I would NEVER for any amount of money do it again. I just don't understand how more people don't die from hiking? All I could think was, if you fell right now, you would just fall off the cliff and die. End of story. Or if you really hurt yourself, no one would be able to get to you for hours.
Soooo I don't know how far my hiking career will go. At best, the hike is "medium difficulty" at worst it is classified under "very difficult" hikes in this region. I think I will stick to the easy ones from now on.
But I can honestly say I was brave today. Though had anything happened, I would have been labeled differently no doubt.
The drive back home (2 hours) was amazing. A sunset, very cute towns, classical music playing. Again you wonder, "How did I get here?"
le 29 sept
I don't know about tomorrow. I thought we were going to monte "stairs," now they are using the word "echelle." (ladder) Ahh! I am in the middle of mountains, well a canyon actually, and Mr. Tibbz is a tad nervous...Certainly I won't break my other leg? Tonite at dinner we met some Americans, now I can't speak English OR French? Completely threw me off! Jocelyen, Roland, Babette, Joel and I are all bunking in one room. Tomorrow will be a very challenging hike/day for me. I have faith but I also have fear. :-) This is one of those moments when you wonder, "How on earth did I get here?"
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
"you'll need a flashlight"
This was how my roomate described the possible hike we might go on this weekend.
"You're not afraid of heights are you?"
"Well, what do you mean, how high?"
"Like, if you are on top of the Eiffel Tower, are you afraid of (literally) the *emptiness*?"
Wow--to fear emptiness on top of the Eiffel Tower, how French. I don't think that would happen to me, though I never have been to the top of the Eiffel Tower. At the same time, for this hike, we will need flashlights because you have to go through dark tunnels apparently?
The organe bikini situation turned out okay, so I have confidence in my roomate. And it is a beautiful area to go hiking in, so I think I shall confront the emptiness.
Today I showed my roomate my pictures of friends/family from home, when she saw Ben's picture she just said: "blue. eyes." Yes, in English! Haha...
The other day I woke up to the Mistral wind humming through the entire apartment. It was like I was on a pirate ship or something, but my roomate said, "Oh but it wasn't very strong."
TOMORROW then is the day of 60mph winds, weee! I love watching la meteo on TV--rainclouds all over France..EXCEPT...haha the one sun going strong in the south.
I DID eat a croque monsieur today....burned. Man, I will never be a French chef. All you have to do is let it cook in the poele for a few minutes and I completely burned it...sigh. This has been part of my frustration here--not knowing how to do anything exactly right. I am constantly fumbling to open doors, turn on the oven, set the dishwasher correctly..etc. Today my roomate and I cleaned.
She said, "Well I didn't show you how to use the vacuum, but I'm sure it's pretty much the same as in the U.S."
"Oh sure--certainly I'll have no problem with a vacuum! Ha! Pfft!"
...2 minutes later...
"So wait, HOW do you turn on the vacuum???"
She just started laughing and showed me the button that I HAD already pressed. Mais non, you must press it this way and wait for a second, THEN it works. Argh! Photocopiers ONLY take dimes, so you can't put in any other kind of change. The cold faucet turns one way to turn on, but you have to do the reverse for the hot faucet. Nearly burned myself figuring that one out in the shower. ;-)
Buuuut it's okay--it has been quite an experience having EVERYTHING explained to me. A. because I need it and B. because my roomate is a pre-school teacher. She really very thoroughly explains everything--which is adorable. :-) We went grocery shopping today and she explained how microwavable meals work, how they put promotions at the end of an aisle, how the generic brands are cheaper than other brands. Part of me thinks, "Well duhh, bien surr." But then again, I couldn't even work the vacuum cleaner so I don't necessarily want to reject any advice she gives me.
And in fact, she is incredibly nice. She arranged so I could stay at her daughter's appartment in Marseille next week for a night. She treated me to the movie "Sicko" last night at the movie theater too. Apparently everything they say about France IS true in it. Although every country has their own problems too...long story I guess.
I am reading Daudet's "Lettres de mon moulin," children's literature apparently. But it's about this region so that should be good. I started reading a book about a guy from a fictional place in Africa who goes to Paris and writes letters back to his girlfriend in "Africa." At first I liked it because it was kind of a cute story, but then there were just too many references to stereotypes for my liking. "Oh if I was at home we could show these Parisiens how we do animal sacrifices in the forest..." Uhhh...yyyah. Anyway, so I had to put that one down pour le moment.
I'm feeling more and more comfortable, but then I really haven't had to do that much yet.
Favorite french of the day: "coucou" (i gather it means "hiya") and "ciao ciao" (catch ya later, alligator)
"You're not afraid of heights are you?"
"Well, what do you mean, how high?"
"Like, if you are on top of the Eiffel Tower, are you afraid of (literally) the *emptiness*?"
Wow--to fear emptiness on top of the Eiffel Tower, how French. I don't think that would happen to me, though I never have been to the top of the Eiffel Tower. At the same time, for this hike, we will need flashlights because you have to go through dark tunnels apparently?
The organe bikini situation turned out okay, so I have confidence in my roomate. And it is a beautiful area to go hiking in, so I think I shall confront the emptiness.
Today I showed my roomate my pictures of friends/family from home, when she saw Ben's picture she just said: "blue. eyes." Yes, in English! Haha...
The other day I woke up to the Mistral wind humming through the entire apartment. It was like I was on a pirate ship or something, but my roomate said, "Oh but it wasn't very strong."
TOMORROW then is the day of 60mph winds, weee! I love watching la meteo on TV--rainclouds all over France..EXCEPT...haha the one sun going strong in the south.
I DID eat a croque monsieur today....burned. Man, I will never be a French chef. All you have to do is let it cook in the poele for a few minutes and I completely burned it...sigh. This has been part of my frustration here--not knowing how to do anything exactly right. I am constantly fumbling to open doors, turn on the oven, set the dishwasher correctly..etc. Today my roomate and I cleaned.
She said, "Well I didn't show you how to use the vacuum, but I'm sure it's pretty much the same as in the U.S."
"Oh sure--certainly I'll have no problem with a vacuum! Ha! Pfft!"
...2 minutes later...
"So wait, HOW do you turn on the vacuum???"
She just started laughing and showed me the button that I HAD already pressed. Mais non, you must press it this way and wait for a second, THEN it works. Argh! Photocopiers ONLY take dimes, so you can't put in any other kind of change. The cold faucet turns one way to turn on, but you have to do the reverse for the hot faucet. Nearly burned myself figuring that one out in the shower. ;-)
Buuuut it's okay--it has been quite an experience having EVERYTHING explained to me. A. because I need it and B. because my roomate is a pre-school teacher. She really very thoroughly explains everything--which is adorable. :-) We went grocery shopping today and she explained how microwavable meals work, how they put promotions at the end of an aisle, how the generic brands are cheaper than other brands. Part of me thinks, "Well duhh, bien surr." But then again, I couldn't even work the vacuum cleaner so I don't necessarily want to reject any advice she gives me.
And in fact, she is incredibly nice. She arranged so I could stay at her daughter's appartment in Marseille next week for a night. She treated me to the movie "Sicko" last night at the movie theater too. Apparently everything they say about France IS true in it. Although every country has their own problems too...long story I guess.
I am reading Daudet's "Lettres de mon moulin," children's literature apparently. But it's about this region so that should be good. I started reading a book about a guy from a fictional place in Africa who goes to Paris and writes letters back to his girlfriend in "Africa." At first I liked it because it was kind of a cute story, but then there were just too many references to stereotypes for my liking. "Oh if I was at home we could show these Parisiens how we do animal sacrifices in the forest..." Uhhh...yyyah. Anyway, so I had to put that one down pour le moment.
I'm feeling more and more comfortable, but then I really haven't had to do that much yet.
Favorite french of the day: "coucou" (i gather it means "hiya") and "ciao ciao" (catch ya later, alligator)
Monday, September 24, 2007
perfume of istres
either everyone wears the same perfurme here--or what i am smelling is just a mixture, the average if you will, of all the perfumes, perhaps mixed with soleil and a bit of pine tree. there is definitely a fragrance of istres though.
i am waiting with impatience as they say for the mistral wind! on thursday it is supposed to be 110 km! quick conversion--like 60mph! whoooooah, can't wait for that. and i didn't even bring a kite.
todays goals=eat a croque monsieur, sign up for hiking
not accomplished.
tomorrow's goals=ride a bike (gasp!) to explore the parks of istres, write letters to grandparents
favorite french o'the day=julie est aux anges! (used on this apartment hunting show on tv, when these 2 women found this really sweet apartment in paris. the one woman's room you seriously had to climb up a ladder and through a crawl space to get to. then you crawl through a little window thing, and voila, a giant room with a huge skylight/ceiling with a view of paris...she was pretty happy)
other favorite french=pas de soucis ("no worries" or "akunamatata" if you will) a phrase used CONSTANTLY here
i am waiting with impatience as they say for the mistral wind! on thursday it is supposed to be 110 km! quick conversion--like 60mph! whoooooah, can't wait for that. and i didn't even bring a kite.
todays goals=eat a croque monsieur, sign up for hiking
not accomplished.
tomorrow's goals=ride a bike (gasp!) to explore the parks of istres, write letters to grandparents
favorite french o'the day=julie est aux anges! (used on this apartment hunting show on tv, when these 2 women found this really sweet apartment in paris. the one woman's room you seriously had to climb up a ladder and through a crawl space to get to. then you crawl through a little window thing, and voila, a giant room with a huge skylight/ceiling with a view of paris...she was pretty happy)
other favorite french=pas de soucis ("no worries" or "akunamatata" if you will) a phrase used CONSTANTLY here
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Oh, and the beach update is
my roomate is lending me her daughter's bathing suit.
....an orange bikini....
an interesting day ahead of me
....an orange bikini....
an interesting day ahead of me
starting to smell the morbier
I can't even describe the emotional rollercoaster this day has been. From mental agony to pure joy and it's all because I have moved into my new home for the year!
My roomate was supposed to come pick me up around noon I thought, from my hotel. So I woke up at 9am, was ready by 11am and then it was noon. Then it was 1, then 2, then 3. I felt awful. I thought, "okay maybe she's just going to pick me up sometime in the afternoon" and continued to wait....alone...in my hotel room...with a beautiful lake outside taunting me. I started looking at photos and movies on my computer, which really only made me more sad. Then at 4 I decided, "okay maybe she forgot about me, I'll give her a call."
And then......my visa card didn't work in the phones. Grrr.
So I left for the internet cafe downtown, trying not to cry in public and en route, my roomate found me!
I guess she had been waiting for Monsieur Benech to call her to tell her when to pick me up. Oh la la. So then she whisked me away to her apartment where I've gotten all settled.
Sigh, I LOVE it here. My own little room with a giant snake stuffed animal. Wifi internet--so I can talk to the U.S. for free! A pretty kitty named Lola! Awww... And Mme Guichenduc--a once gym teacher, now principal and artiste! Someone to talk to---yay!
Her son married Cinderella. Literally. He lives in the U.S. now near Disney World....
My roomate was supposed to come pick me up around noon I thought, from my hotel. So I woke up at 9am, was ready by 11am and then it was noon. Then it was 1, then 2, then 3. I felt awful. I thought, "okay maybe she's just going to pick me up sometime in the afternoon" and continued to wait....alone...in my hotel room...with a beautiful lake outside taunting me. I started looking at photos and movies on my computer, which really only made me more sad. Then at 4 I decided, "okay maybe she forgot about me, I'll give her a call."
And then......my visa card didn't work in the phones. Grrr.
So I left for the internet cafe downtown, trying not to cry in public and en route, my roomate found me!
I guess she had been waiting for Monsieur Benech to call her to tell her when to pick me up. Oh la la. So then she whisked me away to her apartment where I've gotten all settled.
Sigh, I LOVE it here. My own little room with a giant snake stuffed animal. Wifi internet--so I can talk to the U.S. for free! A pretty kitty named Lola! Awww... And Mme Guichenduc--a once gym teacher, now principal and artiste! Someone to talk to---yay!
Her son married Cinderella. Literally. He lives in the U.S. now near Disney World....
everything so far--wifi finally yes!
le 20 sept
First off, how lovely to type with a good ol American keyboard. I hope by the end of the year I am an expert at the French keyboard, but for now, I remain stuck in my USA ways.
Yesterday I arrived sur Istres. It is beautiful here. In between two lakes, full of sunlight and tile-roofed houses. Monsieur Benech picked me up from the airport. I had been worried about having enough to talk about with him—how silly of me. These istreens love to talk—and with their hands surtout! So what was hilarious is as he was driving me back, he would be talking, gesturing with his hands so the car would slowly glide into the next lane as he finished his story before grabbing the wheel again. His wife later complained, “Il parle comme un pi.” I guess that means he’s constantly squawking like a bird—he even forgot to pick up his son from guitar practice because I had kept asking him questions!
In any case, basically this would be the moment when you really start believing in fairy godmothers, guardian angels, and any other mythological creature you know off whose job it is to take care of random clueless people like myself. This is what I love about traveling and what constantly astounds me while traveling. People around the world are pretty freakin’ nice. Now, having traveled to what you might call “non-western” countries like Senegal, Ecuador, Guatemala—I always assumed this overwhelming hospitality that I felt from strangers abroad must be a characteristic specific to those countries. But here I am in la France, heart of Western Civiliation, and am being taken care of by incredibly sweet and thoughtful hosts.
Who is Monsieur Benech? A nice guy who offered to help me out for no other reason other than the fact that he had taught French in Louisiana and knows how hard it is to move to a new country and get settled. He’s been helping me with my housing situation since I was back in the U.S. and then offered to pick me up from the airport. But get this—he doesn’t actually work for the program I’m doing. He’s not getting paid to do any of this. He just offered to help out when one of his colleagues told him about how there was an American assistant coming to Istres.
He took me to my hotel, then took me to the 2 apartments to see, then we ate dinner at his place with his family! His family, by the way, is just as idyllic as this town. His wife, Sylvie, is so sweet and kindhearted—she went to the tourist office to get me tons of pamphlets and maps about Istres. I guess they met while doing their teaching program in Louisiana. Their children are eloquent and adorable. Their son had helped her make the apple tart we had—their daughter commented on how delicious the vinegrette was that he father had made. He explained that was because he used a mushroom oil, which gives it a nutty flavor. I thought, “who has conversations like this?” Oh yah, French people I guess.
His daughter also spent a month in London, Canada! Whoooah—totally where my parents met!
Monsieur Benech used to have 2 pet rabbits that ate at his table WITH him. :-D (His children immediately started giggling at this story…)
Speaking of rabbits, I saw my first “rabbit food” product. In the grocery store, they had a microwavable “lapin” and veggie dish. Hmmmmmmmmmm.
Oh, I made my first joke too! It was at one of the apartments I saw. It has a big window in it, that looks like a door. A sort of balcony. So I said “Oh perfect if someone wants to serenade me…” Yuck yuck yuck…and the women said, “Oh oui, Romeo et Juilette…” So true so true
***
le 21 sept
Monsieur Benech is the best. Today he took me to sign up for everything that I could ever want to do.
***
le 22 sept
Remi under Paris. It’s beautiful here, but what’s the point of seeing a beautiful lake without being able to comment to someone, “My, what a beautiful lake.”
I have to admit that I’ve been a bit lonely so far. I mean, everyone I met is extremely friendly and welcoming, but still I feel a bit anxious about everything. Not that it is a rare thing for Miriam to feel anxious, but really, there is no reason to feel this way. I keep telling myself, “nothing is wrong!!! You are here in this beautiful French town, with amazing people helping you, you have housing, you’re health is good—there is nothing wrong!” But still I feel uneasy. I go back and forth between wanting to hide under my covers and wanting so desperately to just be in company with someone, anyone, else. So perhaps it’s a good thing that I’ll be living with a very nice French woman, Mme Guichenduc. She’s the principal of a preschool, so she should be relatively nice, eh? In fact, she’s already offered to take me to the beach tomorrow. But see, that just stresses me out because she’s this elegant French woman while I have a crazy looking leg that I don’t usually like showing off in a bathing suit. Not that I brought bathing suit to begin with…sigh, so I don’t know what to tell her. So now I am looking up words like “scarred leg,” “feeling self-conscious,” “weird-looking.” But all that is such a small thing! Such a tiny detail of life, and in a day it will be resolved, so why freak out about it?
My French has been surprisingly just fine. I’m able to communicate relatively well—certainly I am making grammar mistakes left and right: “Oh tu etais nee aux Etats Unis?” *doh, stupide Miriam* ;-) But je me debrouille quand meme. Why, just this morning I had a whole conversation with the woman at the hotel about whether they accept traveler’s checks. (She’s pretty sure, but she will contact me if there is any problem.) It was right out of a text book I tell ya.
What I’m thinking is I need a routine. Right now I am just wandering aimlessly (literally) around Istres. It’s sort of good to be here early, but it also means I have the whole next week ahead of me to just kind of hang out. Which for some reason makes me anxious. Gah. And I’m sure once I start teaching that will make me anxious too and I’ll wish I could just hang out.
I am chronicling all these feelings down in the hopes that 9 months from now I will reread it and think “Oh Silly Miriam.” But I’ll be thinking that in French.
I guess it’s my first trip anywhere really by myself. Every time I’ve studied abroad or volunteered abroad, it was always with a group. In Senegal, I arrived early with Angela—we explored Dakar together. I don’t understand why people like traveling by themselves. Maybe you have to be extremely outgoing, but to me, it’s just not as fun. It feels a bit empty.
On the up side, I have plans to take yoga this year, join the photo club (I hope), and possibly the hiking club. But I think you need a license? You also need to have a doctor’s note to join any kind of fitness club or activity here. Again, I just need something to do, some way to meet people.
I feel like I am living the Buddhist criticism of how people sit in front of a table (metaphoric of course) of delicious food, but don’t know they are sitting in front of a table of delicious food. So they feel hungry…forever. Dun dun dunnnn.
A good excuse to eat more nutella and morbier, I’d say. (Not together though, ick) Hopefully I’ll see the food soon.
First off, how lovely to type with a good ol American keyboard. I hope by the end of the year I am an expert at the French keyboard, but for now, I remain stuck in my USA ways.
Yesterday I arrived sur Istres. It is beautiful here. In between two lakes, full of sunlight and tile-roofed houses. Monsieur Benech picked me up from the airport. I had been worried about having enough to talk about with him—how silly of me. These istreens love to talk—and with their hands surtout! So what was hilarious is as he was driving me back, he would be talking, gesturing with his hands so the car would slowly glide into the next lane as he finished his story before grabbing the wheel again. His wife later complained, “Il parle comme un pi.” I guess that means he’s constantly squawking like a bird—he even forgot to pick up his son from guitar practice because I had kept asking him questions!
In any case, basically this would be the moment when you really start believing in fairy godmothers, guardian angels, and any other mythological creature you know off whose job it is to take care of random clueless people like myself. This is what I love about traveling and what constantly astounds me while traveling. People around the world are pretty freakin’ nice. Now, having traveled to what you might call “non-western” countries like Senegal, Ecuador, Guatemala—I always assumed this overwhelming hospitality that I felt from strangers abroad must be a characteristic specific to those countries. But here I am in la France, heart of Western Civiliation, and am being taken care of by incredibly sweet and thoughtful hosts.
Who is Monsieur Benech? A nice guy who offered to help me out for no other reason other than the fact that he had taught French in Louisiana and knows how hard it is to move to a new country and get settled. He’s been helping me with my housing situation since I was back in the U.S. and then offered to pick me up from the airport. But get this—he doesn’t actually work for the program I’m doing. He’s not getting paid to do any of this. He just offered to help out when one of his colleagues told him about how there was an American assistant coming to Istres.
He took me to my hotel, then took me to the 2 apartments to see, then we ate dinner at his place with his family! His family, by the way, is just as idyllic as this town. His wife, Sylvie, is so sweet and kindhearted—she went to the tourist office to get me tons of pamphlets and maps about Istres. I guess they met while doing their teaching program in Louisiana. Their children are eloquent and adorable. Their son had helped her make the apple tart we had—their daughter commented on how delicious the vinegrette was that he father had made. He explained that was because he used a mushroom oil, which gives it a nutty flavor. I thought, “who has conversations like this?” Oh yah, French people I guess.
His daughter also spent a month in London, Canada! Whoooah—totally where my parents met!
Monsieur Benech used to have 2 pet rabbits that ate at his table WITH him. :-D (His children immediately started giggling at this story…)
Speaking of rabbits, I saw my first “rabbit food” product. In the grocery store, they had a microwavable “lapin” and veggie dish. Hmmmmmmmmmm.
Oh, I made my first joke too! It was at one of the apartments I saw. It has a big window in it, that looks like a door. A sort of balcony. So I said “Oh perfect if someone wants to serenade me…” Yuck yuck yuck…and the women said, “Oh oui, Romeo et Juilette…” So true so true
***
le 21 sept
Monsieur Benech is the best. Today he took me to sign up for everything that I could ever want to do.
***
le 22 sept
Remi under Paris. It’s beautiful here, but what’s the point of seeing a beautiful lake without being able to comment to someone, “My, what a beautiful lake.”
I have to admit that I’ve been a bit lonely so far. I mean, everyone I met is extremely friendly and welcoming, but still I feel a bit anxious about everything. Not that it is a rare thing for Miriam to feel anxious, but really, there is no reason to feel this way. I keep telling myself, “nothing is wrong!!! You are here in this beautiful French town, with amazing people helping you, you have housing, you’re health is good—there is nothing wrong!” But still I feel uneasy. I go back and forth between wanting to hide under my covers and wanting so desperately to just be in company with someone, anyone, else. So perhaps it’s a good thing that I’ll be living with a very nice French woman, Mme Guichenduc. She’s the principal of a preschool, so she should be relatively nice, eh? In fact, she’s already offered to take me to the beach tomorrow. But see, that just stresses me out because she’s this elegant French woman while I have a crazy looking leg that I don’t usually like showing off in a bathing suit. Not that I brought bathing suit to begin with…sigh, so I don’t know what to tell her. So now I am looking up words like “scarred leg,” “feeling self-conscious,” “weird-looking.” But all that is such a small thing! Such a tiny detail of life, and in a day it will be resolved, so why freak out about it?
My French has been surprisingly just fine. I’m able to communicate relatively well—certainly I am making grammar mistakes left and right: “Oh tu etais nee aux Etats Unis?” *doh, stupide Miriam* ;-) But je me debrouille quand meme. Why, just this morning I had a whole conversation with the woman at the hotel about whether they accept traveler’s checks. (She’s pretty sure, but she will contact me if there is any problem.) It was right out of a text book I tell ya.
What I’m thinking is I need a routine. Right now I am just wandering aimlessly (literally) around Istres. It’s sort of good to be here early, but it also means I have the whole next week ahead of me to just kind of hang out. Which for some reason makes me anxious. Gah. And I’m sure once I start teaching that will make me anxious too and I’ll wish I could just hang out.
I am chronicling all these feelings down in the hopes that 9 months from now I will reread it and think “Oh Silly Miriam.” But I’ll be thinking that in French.
I guess it’s my first trip anywhere really by myself. Every time I’ve studied abroad or volunteered abroad, it was always with a group. In Senegal, I arrived early with Angela—we explored Dakar together. I don’t understand why people like traveling by themselves. Maybe you have to be extremely outgoing, but to me, it’s just not as fun. It feels a bit empty.
On the up side, I have plans to take yoga this year, join the photo club (I hope), and possibly the hiking club. But I think you need a license? You also need to have a doctor’s note to join any kind of fitness club or activity here. Again, I just need something to do, some way to meet people.
I feel like I am living the Buddhist criticism of how people sit in front of a table (metaphoric of course) of delicious food, but don’t know they are sitting in front of a table of delicious food. So they feel hungry…forever. Dun dun dunnnn.
A good excuse to eat more nutella and morbier, I’d say. (Not together though, ick) Hopefully I’ll see the food soon.
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